Honest Confessions (from someone who started planting a church 2 years ago)

by Josh Duncan

I'm not going to lie and say that the thought of pastoring the next megachurch never crossed my mind over 2 years ago when we felt God call us to start a church. Honestly, I was convinced I knew everything I needed to know and was ready to set the world on fire for Jesus. I wish I could play the humble card and say that it was always all about Jesus, and that I didn't care how many people showed up each Sunday, but that wouldn't be exactly true.

Look, these thoughts that crossed my mind were not discussed with anyone, and if you've ever pursued anything, I'm sure you've had similar thoughts about what great success would look like and you allowed that to push you forward. Here was my problem though...

1. I was completely blind to these thoughts within my own life...
Ever so casually, one seemingly small decision after another, I made decisions that reflected my hope of building the church. The issue is Jesus never told me to build the church. He told me (and all followers of Jesus) to make disciples, and that He would build the church. Somehow, in all my years of "church," I missed that. I missed that our mission isn't about preaching, worship styles, buildings, budgets, websites, meetings, etc.


2. Jesus really doesn't care how many people attend a worship service that's mostly an impersonal environment where people can show up and leave without ever truly interacting with anyone... I believed that success was found in what could easily be measured. How many people are showing up? Is our attendance increasing? Are the offerings increasing?... The truth is if you're truly making disciples, you will see an increase in all of these over time. However, I've had to realize that just because you break attendance barriers (or don't break them as fast as someone else) doesn't mean that you're succeeding or failing. You can have 1,000s (or dozens) at your weekly service and not be making a single disciple. Jesus wants disciples...people who truly surrender and begin to follow Him.

3. God knows our motives, and He will expose them...
You say you want to do this or that.... Will you let God ask you WHY?

For example, someone says they want to be a pastor or start a church... Why?

Do you like to preach? Do you hate your "secular" job?

These are absolutely the wrong reasons to be a pastor or start a church. I believe Jesus would ask, "Do you have a heart for making disciples? Are you pouring your life into your family, neighbors, and co-workers? Are you making disciples within the church you currently attend?" If you're waiting on a paycheck or "title" to do what God's called all believers to do, then your motives are self-centered and not in-tune with His Kingdom.

My challenge to you is the same challenge God has given to me... Don't be obsessed with how big your church is or isn't. (It's His church anyway) Start following Jesus more than you do your favorite pastor or author. Start loving your family with all you have. Start pouring your life and faith into the people around you. Spend time with people. Invite them into your life. Invest your spiritual journey into them. Surrender to Jesus as Lord and call the Christians around you to do the same. It's time to be the church and to quit playing church one-day a week!